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By Robbie T. James
Life is not always a bed of roses, as they say – and neither is marriage. But, many couples find creative ways to work through the inevitable problems that can come up within a marriage. Whether it be trying to communicate better, reading self-help books, or even getting counseling, some couples somehow find a way to get through those rough patches.
On the other hand, some married couples can sometimes run into even deeper problems that do not seem as easily-solvable. Even when the love still seems to be there between the two of them, somehow these couples just can’t seem to catch a break. Sometimes, sadly, one or both of them decides that divorce is their best and only option.
If you and your wife are having issues and she wants a divorce, this no doubt has gotten your attention in a big way. You know something is wrong with the relationship, but what can you really do to try to save the marriage? And, it can feel about 10 times more important to try to do so if you have kids together.
If you are saying to yourself, “What do I do? My wife wants a divorce and I have kids,” here are 3 tips that can help get you going on the right path:
1. Find a way to center yourself emotionally before you take any action:
Hearing the news that your wife wants to leave you can be quite painful. In fact, it can feel like you were dealt a direct body blow straight to your solar plexus. Following the initial shock, feelings of rage, frustration, and anger are all to be expected and are quite normal. However, no matter how bad you may be hurting right now, it is important to keep your emotions in check.
This does not mean you should ignore how you are feeling inside. Rather, you need to feel your feelings, but you need to at the same time center yourself in a calm, rational place. Doing so is the only way you can get on the path to finding your way through this.
2. Set up a special time and place to discuss your wife’s emotions and needs:
Next, you and your wife will benefit from your setting aside some special time for just the two of you – no kids, no other interruptions. At this point, you will want to find out exactly what she needs. Find out “where she is at” emotionally, and get any information you can about why she is leaving the marriage. You should almost act like a detective at this point – calm, cool and rational.
3. Decide if you have any hope of saving your relationship:
Now, spend a couple of days alone to collect your thoughts and get in touch with what you want to do next. Depending upon what your wife told you during your meeting, you may still believe that you can save the relationship. The truth is, if you still love each other at some level, there is hope to save the relationship yet.
Take these 3 tips to heart as you work through the fact that your wife wants a divorce. Getting emotionally centered, finding out what is really motivating her to do this, and deciding if you can save your relationship are all important steps. Do it for yourself – and your kids.
About the Author: Get your troubled marriage back on track with expert relationship advice from someone who has saved thousands of marriages at:
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